for Stephanie
(tangerines & things of each possible relation hashing together)


Highway 101 - down California - sea fogged over - into the sky - listening music - and thinking through - really for once - the time to - yes a momentary intimacy - then the burgundy JEEP swerves and cuts in - driver flicks up a finger - the middle one (for symbolism) - he wants me to know he is expected somewhere - by someone - someone who loves him perhaps - he musn't be late - what's his name? - his mother? - the power of that gesture, his to me - at me - this intrusion - aggression - enter nausea - I begin to cry (which is strange because I don't much ever... and yet suddenly flooded): how are we to live among each other you - in this - with - if this man met me on the street - in the eye - would he do the same (the finger) - could he? - I'm the maladjusted one - crying down the highway - he knows at least how to conduct himself - efficiently - things make sense - there are places to be - important temporal-spatial positions - I want to pull over with him and use our eyes - this is not possible - we're driving - but he should know - I'm trying to love him.